I know, I know, the title alone makes me want to noose myself but it will all make sense soon.  Ask not what the Giants can do for you, rather what can you do for the Giants. (I just thought of that, it’s a totally original quote.) Someone just asked me how I spent my New Years. I spent it honoring the Giants, here’s a quick glimpse.

I met an owner of a bar in Union Square (NYC for the laymen or those of you who don’t study maps of NYC as a hobby. Weirdos) the night before and he took a shining to me and my newest lady. He invited us to be his guests for New Years. Having never been invited as an owner’s guest anywhere, and being exceedingly thrifty, I thought it would be best if we had some cheap drinks before-hand in case being a guest meant paying full price for everything. Ginormous mistake. Upon entering the bar, the owner (who I will refer to as Doc, mainly because he is a doctor)  immediately waived the 150 dollar cover, (perk number 1). Doc then told me that all drinks were on him, just take care of the bartender (perk number 2, and really there are no other perks on New Years).

I ordered a dirty martini for me and the lady, put down 50 bucks, and with that my fate was sealed. The moment a martini was finished another was placed in front of us, not to mention doc was buying us shots in between each drink. By 11pm I was 6 martinis and 4 shots deep and that is when I started an unhealthy obsession with mentioning Eli Manning.  No matter what was said to me I responded with a quip about Eli (the fact that I chose Eli is most disturbing as he is far from my favorite player).

Here are 2 quick examples:

Upon finishing a shot of Patron, Doc asked me how I liked it.

Me: “Eli can do like 15 shots without blinking.”
Doc :  “Is that good?”
Me :  “No idea, but one time Eli and Peyton took down 3 bottles of Jack, Eli Drank 2 and a half, Peyton finished half and threw up. Eli never even blinked.”
Doc : “Is blinking a concern in the NFL?”
Me : “No idea, Eli never blinks.”

Unhealthy obsession example Number 2:

My lady asked me to dance and this is what I came up with as a response:  “Eli once did the robot and someone next to him exploded. After seeing this Eli did the worm all they way out of the bar and back to his apartment.” After that final Eli quip, my lady (I can’t say my lady again, its starting to get creepy,  her name is Natalie) said “if you love the Giants and Eli so much, prove it.”

Prove it I did.

In a drunken stupor we wandered into Duane Reade and bought some hair dye. I am proud to say my nether regions are now bright blue in homage to Big Blue. As Adam Sandler would say,  ”its a veritable forest down there.” In my case a blue forest.

What have you done for the Giants lately?

What was your reaction to getting the Eagles for a third time this year?

I was excited to finally know who we play, get ready to come to work here today and Tuesday, and Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday and get ready to suit up on Sunday.

It was no big surprise that you were going to face the Eagles?

We didn’t know who we were going to face, but obviously the way the Eagles have been playing and the way the other game turned out with Atlanta and Arizona we still had a chance to face the Eagles and they played good football yesterday and won so they are deserving of it and we are looking forward to it.

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Philadelphia has played very well, very good football.  They are actually 5-1 since Baltimore.  They have done an outstanding job of complimenting special teams, offense and defense.  They are getting, as you know, big plays off of the special teams.  They are taking good care of the ball.  The screen was obviously the big play yesterday, which really got them going.  Their defense has been very stingy; (it is) really very, very difficult to see any continuity in terms of offensive drives (against them).  So they are playing very well and they went on the road and advanced in a very difficult place to play.  And so we are excited about coming back together this week and getting ready to play a team that is playing well.

Q:  What is the schedule for the players this week?  Will you give them anything Eagles related today?

A:  Yes, we have been downstairs.  Players are in today.  They have their conditioning program.  They have their strength program and obviously the medical program.  And the Philadelphia tape is in each room with a study guide for them; something which they can follow.  And that will be the same way tomorrow.  And then we will go to work and have a normal work week on Wednesday morning.

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Dave Hutchinson of the Star Ledger reports that Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo was not as prepared as one would expect for his meeting with the Jets, leaving Jets offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer to emerge as the leading candidate for the job, according to two people with knowledge of the club’s thinking.

Spagnuolo has interviewed with the Browns, Lions and Broncos as well. The Jets have interviewed Schottenheimer, Spagnuolo and Bill Callahan, their assistant head coach/offense this past season. Cardinals assistant head coach/offensive line coach Russ Grimm, former Ravens coach Brian Billick, and Ravens defensive coordinator Rex Ryan, whose team forced five turnovers Sunday, could be considered as well.

The Giants will face the Eagles next Sunday afternoon in the Meadowlands at 1pm on Fox as a result of the Eagles win over the Minnesota Vikings, 26-14.

The Cardinals advanced to the NFC divisional playoffs as well with their win over the Falcons. 30-24 on Saturday. They will face the Panthers next Saturday night at 8:15pm on Fox.

In the AFC, the Chargers beat the Colts, 23-17 and the Ravens beat the Dolphins, 27-9. The Ravens will face the Titans next Saturday afternoon at 4:30 on CBS, while the Chargers will face the Steelers next Sunday afternoon, at 4:45 on CBS.

According to Adam Schefter of  NFL.com the Giants are considering anointing defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo the successor to Tom Coughlin in an attempt to sway him from considering looming head coaching offers from around the league.

With the Giants on a bye this weekend awaiting their NFC Divisional Playoff opponent to be determined, Spagnuolo interviewed at the Jets and Broncos on Saturday. The Cleveland Browns interviewed him earlier this week.

Its no secret that Giants’ defensive coordinator Steve Spagnoulo’s time with the club is nearing an end. He is the top candidate for many of the head coaching positions around the league. It appears he will interview for all them before making a decision. It is very likely that he will not be returning as Giants’ DC next season.

The skinny is Spagnuolo ranks 4th among free agent head coaches, meaning Bill Cowher, Mike Shanahan and Mike Holmgren would all be hired ahead of him.

That is, if Cowher and Holmgren are looking, which we believe they are not. That leaves Shanahan as the best candidate, and it is believed that he will take the Jets’ job.

Spags will most likely end up in Denver. We don’t think he’s crazy enough to go to Detroit, St. Louis or Oakland should those latter positions open up. The Broncos are a good fit for Steve. They have a franchise QB in Jay Cutler and a solid organization with a dedicated owner in Pat Bowlen. The piece of the puzzle that needs fixing is the defense, and that is where Spags comes in.

Former Giants star wideout and Super Bowl XV Champion Mark Ingram was arrested by federal marshals last night. Ingram was wanted after he skipped town last month. He was supposed to begin a 7-year, 8-month prison term for money laundering.

This is not the first time Ingram has been in trouble with the law. He was jailed in 2001 for counterfeiting and was caught in a FBI sting operation.

Ingram was seemingly on the lam so he could watch his son, who play’s for Alabama, in the Sugar Bowl last night. Fyi, double digit favorite Bama lost to Utah 31-17.

According to Newsday’s Robert Kessler Ingram:

…had earlier asked to have his prison sentence delayed so he could watch his son play in an earlier game against Florida. U.S. District Court Judge Denis Hurley denied that request…Ingram, 43 was arrested in a motel in Auburn Hills, Mich., just as he was sitting down to watch the game on TV, officials said.

The obviously fond of puns federal prosecutor Richard Donoghue said:

“In the game of life, Mr. Ingram apparently has fumbled, and the government is now in possession.”

I wonder if Donoghue will like my headline?

Peyton Manning won his record-tying 3^rd NFL MVP award in a landslide. This bugs me.

I won’t argue that Manning did not deserve the award; he had another outstanding year and led his team to the playoffs once again. What irks me is the fact that he won in such a rout when there were other players who I believe were at least as deserving of the award. Manning received 32 votes, while the next closest players (Chad Pennington and Michael Turner) received 4 each. Manning’s name value and surging Colts team prevented voters from thinking outside the box. As my friend ‘Zachary W’ put it, “I think it helps that he’s Peyton Manning.”

Here are the guys who never had a chance:

Philip Rivers (QB- SD)- Most people probably don’t realize that Rivers was the best quarterback this year; better than Drew Brees, better than Kurt Warner and better than Peyton Manning. Rivers led all QBs in QB Rating, Touchdowns, TD% and Yards Per Attempt. He played well all year, but in the four game winning streak that clinched the playoff berth, Rivers had an 11 to 1 TD to INT ratio. Yes, the Chargers did finish 8-8, but at no fault of Rivers; they lost 5 games by a total of 12 points, in which Rivers had a TD:INT ratio of 11:4. Without defensive leader Shawne Merriman, and with a declining LaDanian Tomlinson, Rivers took the team on his back and led them to the playoffs. He was far and away the best quarterback statistically, and without him, his team would have missed the playoffs. That is the definition of the Most Valuable Player.

Chad Pennington (QB- MIA)- The Jet cast-off won comeback player of the year for the second time in three years (maybe there should be a rule against that…). Led a team that was 1-15 last year to an improbable division title. His 67.4 completion percentage led the NFL, and his 97.4 QB rating and 19:7 QB:INT ratio were second only to Philip Rivers’.

DeAngelo Williams (RB- CAR)- Half beast, half monster. Williams led the league with 18 rushing touchdowns, and added 2 more receiving touchdowns. His 5.5 yards per carry was 2^nd in the NFL (Derrick Ward- 5.6) and first among RBs with 200 carries or more. His 1515 yards was good for 3^rd in the league, despite the fact that he split carries with rookie Jonathan Stewart. Most importantly, he performed when it mattered the most. Williams scored an insane 15 touchdowns in second half of the season.

Adrian Peterson (RB- MIN)- Despite not having a stable quarterback all year, and despite teams making it their #1 priority to contain him every week, Peterson was still unstoppable. “All Day” led the league with 1760 rushing yards, and a 4.9 Yards Per Carry was good for 5^th in the league. He was one of only two players to average 100 yards per game (Michael Turner); and had ten 100 yard games. His 9 fumbles and 4 fumbles lost (most among running backs) hurt his chances.

Giants Offensive Line- There is no rule that says an entire unit cannot win the award, but it will never happen. The Giants rushed for a league high 157 yards per game and had two 1,000 yard rushers for only the fifth time in NFL history. They are generally acknowledged as the best offensive line, and one of the most dominant units in the league. Anyone who watches the Giants knows that the offensive line is the heart and sole of the offense. Not to take anything away from Brandon Jacobs and Derrick Ward, but with the size of the holes this line created, I think I could have ran for at least 400 yards this year. In fact, I guarantee it.

Others deserving mention:

Andre Johnson (WR- HOU)- Led league with 115 receptions and 1575 yards. Had at least 10 catches in a game 7 times.

Ed Reed (S- BAL)- Led league with 9 INT and also added 2 TD.

James Harrison (LB- PIT)- 101 tackles and 16 sacks. Led league with 7 forced fumbles.

DeMarcus Ware (LB- DAL)- Led league with 20 sacks. S